july update
2026/07/26 || 21:15
so i’m about a month and a half into my patreon hiatus, which has also essentially become an art hiatus. and for a bit that’s fine, i definitely needed time to rest with no obligations or pressure even from myself. but as we’re creeping through july i’ve found myself feeling bored, restless, unable to focus. i didn’t replace my drawing time with a new hobby for the most part. i have read a bit more and managed to convince myself to watch a show that i’ve been itching to but was having autism paralysis about (iykyk), but mostly i’ve just spent my time watching more youtube or fucking scrolling. and none of this has lead to better inspiration.
i’ve painted three times in the past month and a half, once with oil and twice with gouache, and all of them were mediocre as expected. but it was nice to do, especially because all three of them were environments with only one figure. i feel generally frustrated with my habit of only ever drawing figures and i think that’s part of my problem with approaching art again because i’m not great at backgrounds but don’t want to continue only drawing figures. i’ll figure that part out at some point. at the beginning of june i’d drawn some copia doodles digitally to try and draw in any style but my own, and those were also mediocre. today i drew something digitally, a pseudo self portrait, about how i’ve felt lately. i’m sure it’s at least a little relatable to someone who views it.
i continue to be too online. i’m too on my phone. and what sucks is that getting off-line would mean being uninformed about shit. but what sucks about being online is being informed about shit. there’s no winning i don’t think. you either know and burn your brain or get surprised without having a chance to do something. sometimes doing something feels like fucking nothing anyway…
also, fuck it, if you read my blog you can email me at thebirdzone@proton.me i’d love to start snail mailing strangers for enrichment.